Category Archives: Unasked for advice

Quick review of “Death by a thousand sluts part 2”

What is it?

A semi autobiographical book on the author’s attempt to improve his lovelife using an approach called “daygame”.

The good:
– Bhodi actually gets his end away five times in the book. This is a welcome contrast to Death By A Thousand Sluts (DBATS) Part 1 were the author just gets nowhere for the entire length of the story. By the end of that book one I was beginning to suspect that there may be something really wrong with the author that he wasn’t telling the reader. Perhaps he was severely overweight, really bloody ugly, or had some other fatal flaw like being born without ears? As a long time reader or Bhodi’s blog, I couldn’t help but root for him, so it was reassuring to discover that he can get laid and that I wasn’t investing in the story of someone who is just one of those very unfortunate guys.
– There are other characters in the book (his Rock Solid Game flatmates) who Bhodi amusingly takes the mickey out of. Krauser in particular is portrayed as a despicable human being and borderline psychopath.
– The stories about getting laid are incredibly tense, as it is a long time between drinks for the author, and logistics always seem to be tough. The story where he shags an american tourist in the toilets of a hotel is a highlight that is both heroic and ridiculous.

The bad:
– Bhodi seems to be obsessed with daygame in London, and doesn’t seem to really try any other approaches. Although he does mention going to a Salsa class, which I hope was to make friends rather than just find more girls to hit on, and shags a bird from it, he doesn’t seem to try similar approaches anywhere else, or even analyse why he succeeded there. He also mentions getting a date with a girl while on a “euro-juant” but it doesn’t go anywhere for some reason that I can’t remember. But despite this seeming improvement in odds in this different situation in Europe the author is soon back in London pounding the cold streets. Similarly in DBATS part 1 the author tries approaching in an art gallery, but I think the chick brings a female friend on their “date”. So then Bhodi seems to throw the baby out with the bathwater and give up on this approach. Bhodi obviously had his reasons for giving up on these approaches, but he doesn’t really explain them (or if he did I have forgotten).
– His descriptions of his flatmates are just amusing caricatures, perhaps because Bhodi would feel bad revealing any real details about their lives and who they actually are? But these caricatures become stale pretty quickly. Mocking Steve Jabba for being obsessed with Adwords once is funny. But by the third time Steve is being mocked this way it is like a joke that has been told too many times. A real story (flattering or not) about Steve would have been much more interesting.
– Daygame seems to work for Krauser, but is never that fruitful for Bhodi, and there is never any attempt at analyzing why this is? Is Krauser way better looking that Bhodi? Taller? Is he more confident for some reason? The reader is just left imagining what is going on. Lee and Steve seem to have a lot of success, but this is just chalked up to them being “good looking” and left at that. Not that far back in the days of the London online forum Steve came second in a 12 week long body improvement contest, which had more than a few dedicated gym bunnies in it. Maybe he has gone to seed since then (I doubt it) but the fact that Steve was pretty ripped is never mentioned.

Thoughts/unasked for advice/stupid theory/hopes for part 3:
– I have since seen on Bhodi’s blog some posts saying that he is pretty much done with daygame. He has also since done winter trips to Mexico and Colombia. I don’t think he got laid on either of these trips. But it would be interesting to hear some more analysis of why this was the case?
– I have long advocated a more social approach to game. In DBATS part 1 there was a two page section basically slagging this off! So I think Bhodi has been talked out of this, probably by Krauser, but I’d love hear some more about Colombia, as at least this is trying something different. One thing written in DBATS part one that really grated was (roughly) “in daygame you pick the girls vs ecosystem game the girls pick you”. This is illogical, in either situation a girl has to want to fuck you and so ‘picks’ you back. The whole point of socialising is not so that you don’t have to overcome the awkwardness of running up to a girl on the street, it is because socialising can make you happy and confident, which is what a lot of girls are looking for imho. If Bhodi was a guy with a decent body who was having fun two to three times per week with mates in Colombia, I find it hard to imagine him not getting laid (in this situation Bhodi would still have to talk to girls in bars and at parties etc).
– To be fair being social can be tough, especially if you go to a new country like Argentina, and you aren’t that social in the first place. Personally I’ve always been naturally very social and enjoy life best when hanging out with large groups of friends. My uni experience was very different to the one Bhodi described in DBATS part 1. I was similarly pretty awkward when I got to uni. Being a dyslexic which most kids don’t grow out of until puberty doesn’t exactly set you up for being one of the cool confident kids at high school. But at uni with its options for social growth absent in a small high school everything came right for me and everything was amazingly good fun. Reading Bhodi’s story and reflecting on our divergent experiences I was thinking “is this just shit luck, or do we have very different personalities, or some combination of those two things?”. I really did feel sorry for him reading about his best female friend breaking up with her long term boyfriend then passing on him for some first year. My last couple of years of uni I had some really nice girlfriends, but reading his account perhaps I was closer to disaster than I realized?


Squaring the circle

So I saw another great post on Bodi’s blog where he talked a little about living in Mexico City for a few months over the European winter.

I have loads of questions, but don’t want to spam my assumptions into his comments section. Also apologies if he ever reads this, as I know how annoying assumptions/guesses can be, but I’m going to make a few.

I’m going to assume he chose MC because it is:
1. Warm.
2. Developed enough to not be an exercise in frustration.
3. Big enough that you can daygame or online game with a reasonable number of girls on the streets or online.

I’m going to go an make a massive assumption that it was probably a bit of a lonely experience. That can seem a bit counter intuitive – how can you be lonely in a big city surrounded by people?

An important question to address is – why does loneliness matter if you are just trying to get laid? Well I think social circles (aka groups of friends) provide two benefits. The first is that… they can introduce you to girls and get you laid. The second is that they give you a life that girls want to be a part of (aka fun social activities). I think if you are a keen daygamer or online gamer it is easy to just focus on the first advantage, and accuse the advocate of just wanting to get laid without dealing with any rejection, while completely ignoring the second benefit. I have a feeling that a lot of blokes are more comfortable with a somewhat lonely existence than girls are. When you take a girl out on a first date, and she realizes that all future dates are going to be just you and her, usually alone, that can be off-putting to a lot of women.

Going on my experience of London and a few other big cities, I’m going to assume MC has the same downsides:
1. It is massive, so girls already have their own niche social circles.
2. The cool social activities have a cost to join in with (e.g. social groups at unis where you have to go attend the uni) and take time to build any status within the heiracy. The ones that anyone can join already have a fair few lectcherous blokes.
3. Trying to organize your own group of friends is like trying to herd cats.
4. It takes longer to build social circles in big cities and it is harder to join (decent) existing ones. This is a disadvantage if you are fresh of the boat and only there for a few months.

So what is a partial solution? Go to a small town with a high volume of new arrivals like a tourist town in season, which also has some cool activity based social network where our protagonist can get a role with status quickly (dive town, beach resort, ski resort). That way the arrival gets all the benefits of a cool social network, plus some immediate status. However… these kind of places don’t have big enough populations to have a reasonable number of girls walking around (by themselves) for daygame. And may also not be big enough to provide a cloak of anonymity. So you’re commiting to either the ‘cool life that immpresses newly arrived chicks’ approach to game, or going to a bigger place and choosing daygame.

Is there anyway out of this bind? Maybe not unfortunately. The best thing I can think of at present is to go to a trekking diving town within easy travelling distance of a bigger city. Perhaps the diving town of Taganga which is only 10 minutes drive from the bigger center of Santa Marta? If Santa Marta turns out to be to small I suppose the aspiring daygamer could go to Cartagena, but that would probably mean going and staying down there for a week at a time…

Santa Marta
Santa Marta

Taganga
Taganga

Potential Curveballs:
– Conservative Christian local culture means local girls don’t put out much.
– Girls only walk around in groups.
– Santa Marta is still too small to daygame.
– Developing a coke addiction.